Relationships take a lot of hard work. But in some cases, that work won’t always pay off. According to experts, some relationships just aren’t really meant to be, given the circumstances
“It’s always so funny to me when people try to fit a square peg into a round hole,” Jennifer Hurvitz, relationship coach and author, tells Bustle. “You’ll keep beating it and beating it, hoping to make it fit. But you just can’t make it change. When you’re with the wrong person, there are certain things that will just never work, no matter how hard you try.”
For instance, chemistry is a big one. You can’t fake or force chemistry. When you’re with the wrong person, it likely won’t happen. “While you may be in like with them, you’ll never be in love with them or have that chemistry you’re looking for,” Hurvitz says. Instead, you’ll probably feel like you’re missing out on something. It may even lead you to start searching for that missing thing elsewhere.
There’s nothing wrong with working hard to make a relationship work. But if you want a long lasting, healthy relationship, it’s important to recognize when you’re with someone who may be wrong for you. Here are some things that can happen when you’re with the wrong person, according to experts.
1.You Feel Bad About Things That Aren’t Really Your Fault
When you love someone, it’s easy to empathize with what they’re going through. The right person will openly accept your empathy and support. But the wrong person might somehow twist things and make you feel like you’re responsible for everything that’s going wrong with their life. Even if you get them to see reason, Christine Scott-Hudson, licensed psychotherapist and owner of Create Your Life Studio, tells Bustle, “They’ll just find a new way to make you feel bad or wrong.” They may not own up to their own flaws, and instead, they might make passive-aggressive comments to make you feel like you’re the one at fault. This isn’t the healthiest situation, and it may be time to consider leaving.
2.You Don’t Get To Enjoy Comfortable Silences With Them
Having things to talk about 24/7 is not really a marker for a healthy relationship. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s not necessary. Because when you’re with the right person, Michelle Fraley, founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking and Relationship Coaching, tells Bustle, silence can be comforting, secure, and connected. “When you’re with the wrong person, silence will be seen as heavy and passive-aggressive,” she says.
3.You Won’t Feel Part Of A Team
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